Well, er, now, where does one begin? From stepping off that jetway up until the present moment, my greatest contribution to society has been an Imdb list titled "Ladies I'd Get Jiggy With Whilst Listening To Will Smith - Gettin' Jiggy With It" which seemed to find its audience whilst I was galavanting overseas. People even liked it through Facebook - people publically admitted to liking something I have come up with. When my ego finally sat its fat arse down and shut its fat hole, I realised I might need to resume the asinine, banal, fatuous, other words for soulless and empty, blog of mine. It would give me some time away from writing my medical paper on why autistic people get so wet for Sonic the Hedgehog and from babysitting a braindead Aussie who Yabby Bassey so kindly landed me with whom I now can't get fucking rid of.
One part of my brain is saying "You got nothing, you got nothing" over and over whilst another is playing Joe Esposito to me right now. So I think I'll start with a very basic rant. What's the deal, with charcoal?! I mean, why is it black?!?! Oh no wait that's from my unfinished stand-up comedy routine. Right, why is it, gaylords all over the internet, whenever they're quoting Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, Britney Spears or another of those awful people, they see some advantage to quoting the entire line. Let me show you what I mean, I'll just nip onto a website that's notorious for these idiots..."Because I played the fool for you" Right, why did they include the word 'because'? I don't see what that adds to the fucking lyric. Well, if I ever return to that Facebook thing, I'm going to go the whole hog and say things like "Tell me, tell me, tell me lies. Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies, tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies" or "Hm, my lord (hallelujah), my, my, my lord (hare krishna), my sweet lord (hare krishna), my sweet lord (krishna krishna)" I mean, really, why the fuck not? These arsetards seem to think the word "Because" or the word "And" really adds something to it, man!
I did some evaluation on my life today. I thought, "What do I really mean to this world?" So I thought naturally the first thing I would do is see if anything ever happened on the day I was born in history. So let's see...Dolly Parton's 9 To 5 tops the charts; Robert Frost dies...oh, that...famous...person and last but certainly not fucking least: "Dense fog brings road, rail and air transport in many parts of England and Wales to a virtual standstill." Seriously? THIS is what qualified for news the same date I was born? My life is equatable to a fucking bit of bad weather? That's as ridiculous as comparing Clint Eastwood to anal sex. Although, if I had to draw a comparison there...one will make your day, one will make your whole year.
Ok, let's try something else, who shares my birthday? "Endi E. Poskovic - Artist and printmaker whose influences come from a variety of sources, including Japanese woodblock carvings." I'm convinced that's someone who's just shoved himself onto this website. It's like my Papa used to say, "Dread! Get over here with those matches, this cross isn't going to burn itself!" Wait, what? I didn't say anything. "Bob Holly - Became known by his ring name, Bob "Hardcore" Holly; fearless wrestler who won the WWF Hardcore Championship six times." Oh, hey, I share a birthday with Big Hardy Holly! Aw well that settles it, I'm a privileged man after all! I'm lying who the fuck are you? Who decides a wrestler is fearless anyway, where's that committee?
Must go, there's a noose in my room just screaming for a loser.
In a bit.
I'll resume and finish the Australia journal starting next entry.