Monday, 19 March 2012

Keep On Runnin' (Crawlin' Black Spider)

"When God put teeth in their mouths, he definitely spoiled some good arses"

Yes, Comrades

Well now it has been a long time has it not? Five days to my memory? Fuck knows. In that time Sonik Kicks has been released, today in fact. It's been described as 'patchy', 'not very good' and 'career-defining'. You know as well as I, dear droogs, that these are what we in the West call 'clich├ęs'. Reviewers, particularly those working for the en.em.y (NME. Please do keep up!), have exhausted every simile, metaphor, hyperbole and bukkake. "Weller's released his first album in, oh, twenty minutes. Fuck it, get me portfolio and I'll snip and shape it like a new review! Bugger me, I'm a genius!" and Mr Weller will then proceed to read this review and say "Fuckers, ya know? They obviously just don't get it, ya know? Ya know, ya know?" In short: care not for the opinions of them. When God put teeth in their mouths, he definitely spoiled some good arses.

A new direction has been chosen. Following an unfortunate disagreement or four with seemingly no repairs possible, yours truly is going solo. "But Liam, you are a solo act! A wanker! Shame your dad wasn't!" "Yes, thank you, sit down, don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come round to your work and tell you how to grill the Big Macs, do I?" Yes. When I say solo, I don't mean solo, I mean solo. Right? Right. Purely acoustic, no frills, no backing band and ultimately no production. Ideas will form, masterpieces will birth, and maybe in good time you'll be buying tickets for An Intimate-ish Evening Or Afternoon Depending On The Venue And Gig Time With The Musician Formerly Known As Ar Kid. I've got to work on the new name, if I even decide to go with an alias. Could always take after Nicki Minaj, one of the greats, and conjure up a whole other personality. But seriously, videos will appear here. Not produced videos, just raw footage. Without spoiling the surprise, the first video you'll see soon will be the first song I ever learned on guitar: Traffic - Feelin' Alright. Originals will follow.

I'm still open to the idea of a backing band if I can find more people with that streak of desperation and low self-respect, the salt of the Earth - Jedward need not apply. If anyone knows of anywhere I could play a gig with an audience comprised solely of blind people, that would be fantastic. Bizarre as it sounds, heckling wouldn't be an issue. "Get off, you're shit!! ........ Has he gone?"

You currently find me packing my 3DS, Hob Nobs and The Trap Door DVD for my trip to London to see Mr Weller at the London Roundhouse tomorrow.

In a bit.


The following is an excerpt from my Australia Journal 2008-09. Be warned: the following paragraph contains plagiarism of South Park and much poofery.

Tuesday 16th December 2008

Shopping. Again. Bought an "I love lamp" custom shirt. It's most astounding, squire. Round at Mark's tonight, pasting the poor yin at Guitar Queero. Met his mrs n her mate, smashing lot. He hates my shades. What a slut. Got some serious music and video collection, had to indulge. Ate Thai food which I liked. Gasp! His ex's? Oh, what criminal raging jealousy surged through me. Was light seemingly all night. Had weird Japanese tea also, UK's missing out, fo show. If the country had mod gear, it would be paradise. Think 22 Dreams is the season soundtrack.
"Come out to play, now the light nights are here"

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