Saturday, 28 December 2013



Yes, Comrades

We all had a well-deserved lie in, which was good because I was having an absolutely scrummy dream about ponies. Such fantasies had to wait, however, as before me feet had touched the ground, I was being wheeled around the houses.

First off, I met Irie Nancy's old babysitter. I don't know how many people would get not only their babysitter, but their babysitter's daughter a present, but there you are. They were nice. Next to a house we didn't get down (out the car) at. Then, to cousin Abel's house. I'd met him and his kids (like Isaac) already, but all the same, it was nice to see them again. Like a lot of people here, seeing his eyes was a new experience, without the shades on. I forgot to bring mine, my Ray Bans. Bet you haven't got a pair.

Last up I met one of several thousand Tonys in the Nancy family. The mother apparently collects spoons from around the world. I think our spoon would have a Lacoste logo and a Stanley Knife sticking out of it. For whatever reason I've been reminded of that one video I made years ago about Captain Jack Squirrel - there is a website out there dedicated to squirrel videos. Go figure. The videos work well with rave music too.

Soon we had been home, eaten steak sandwiches, picked up Mama Sheba and Tree and had arrived at X and Alecia's house. Alecia gave us her rice, salsa and tacos which were the business. X and I enjoyed some Stella whilst the others were on the Malibu and orange. Jonathan Ross would be proud, ladies, that shandy-pants bastard.

I'm at this moment watching an ad for Bacon Bowls, with 'baconriffic' ideas. Seriously, check that shit out, this country has some of the greatest minds of our generation.

I like Breaking Bad. I only watched the fifteen minute pilot but my God it was fucking cool. Some specky twat blowing up a caravan. It's the Breaking Bad of TV shows really, Breaking Bad. We also watched Death Becomes Her, by which time the golden seal had been broken. I feel like a genius because now I know who Goldie Hawn is, thanks to Wildcats. You see how it all links up? I'm great.

We then went home to continue our bender. I can't remember specifics, but we discussed some pretty heavy shit, like Dragonball Z. It was crazy, with me and the Archbishop of Banterbury.

"My mind's gone loose inside its shell"

In a bit.

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