Monday, 30 December 2013



Yes, Comrades

I always have loads of super ideas to write in here, then they go away. That's the tragedy. Anyway, another day off for Irie Nancy, which the poor old horse spent sleeping. I spent this time researching if I'm rubbing 'their' bellies correctly - turns out I am the master belly rubber, stand back!

Eventually the old man woke up and we sort of looked lost for a bit, with no idea what mischief to get up to. One of my gifts, I can admit, was a Zias gift card, which needed to be spent. We went to Tempe first, which had lots of odd books and Smallville DVD sets. Yabby Bassey, it seems no one likes that show after all, eh?

I love Jennifer Lawrence. She is great. As soon as I heard her talking about herself in The Hunger Games, saying "No one wants to see that idiot swinging from trees" I thought "I'd like that lady, I shall ask for her for Christmas". Jaden Smith, on the other hand..."How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?" Well, yes, quite. "Jonah Hill is a genius". Just, fuck off, ok Jaden? Stop speaking to me.

Had to get that out of my system. The old beast and I (I'm referencing Monty Python when I call her those things in an ingenius callback to an entry I wrote a year and a half ago) found a new Zias which was cool and all, but it wasn't my Camelback.

We next pulled up at Alecia and X's house, where Alecia's Mum's birthday was being held and celebrated by watching a UFC fight...and making a fuck ton of racket. Seriously, everyone had warned me that Alecia's family were loud, but fuck me. Ocean's fucking Seven was less noisy! You adapt to that stuff quicker than you'd think - yes, even me.

There were three occasions of freak luck on this day. The first was that a banana milkshake was launched across the car and didn't spill. The second was when my girl Miesha Tate, who I decided was my girl just because, lost to Ronda Rousey. $10 down to Irie Nancy. Now, I've taken a few hits from women in my time, I should know which bitch was going to come out on top. Lastly, Anderson Silva broke his shin during his fight with Chris Weidman (more like, Wideman, am I right?). $20 down to Sal Sheba. Don't gamble, kids. I'm off for a cry, a Pot Noodle and a wank.

"Watch your money go round, as you fall from grace and hit the ground"

In a bit.

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