Monday, 23 December 2013

Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss


Yes, Comrades

I wanna play a game. You have spent your whole life being a person...and doing...things. Today you will wake in a house that's not yours and have kinda no way out to have a smoke. The keys are here, but it will take a text to find out where they are. Live or die.

That sucked. Then the senior Nancys got back, we watched some of that film with bats where Christian Bale has marbles in his mouth then Mr Nancy and I went shopping, where I was totally blindsided as he got me shoes for Christmas. As would be expected, I had no idea what to say when this happened. We then went home to finish watching Tom Hardy punch concrete pillars apart and rub bellies (not each others'! Jesus!).

When Irie herself got back, we went to Pete's, which is basically a chippy. I got me square cod, breaded shrimp and chips, with The Journey's Midnight Train soundtracking the drive back. The food was good in the hood and nah I can't be bothered.

We went from Sheba's to her brother Raoul's. There, Ted was on. I like me some Mila Kunis but fuck, I needed out of there. Adding some Casa Rossa and a slammer to the beer in my belly, we headed to Ocean's Seven for Adriana(Raul's missus)'s birthday, after picking up her friends. That's eight of us in one car, and only one of us isn't Mexican. There are so many jokes I could make here but more importantly...

The club was bouncing, quite literally. We were packed into a tiny private area as more of Adriana's friends turned up and we started on the vodka. Adriana's chums...I think would be best described as such: Adriana is Snow White and she has her four little Mexicans: Grumpy, cause she don't smile much; Red, cause she has red hair; Cool, cause anyone who actually knows the guys on the door and so gets in without ID is pretty fucking cool, and Cher, because she looks like Cher. They seemed like nice girls all the same. There was also a guy as white as me there! Lawd it's a miracle!

You know how when Bugs Bunny is in his hole or house and a giant walks past and he bounces around the room? This club genuinely made you bounce even when outside, I can still feel the bass. A guy who looked and behaved exactly like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite and was on his own was there. He was bloody fascinating to watch. Poor Tree had to dance him off. We left and went home, bog standard ending.

"Just jot me down on your to-do list under 'put out like a fire'"

In a bit.

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