Friday, 20 December 2013

Man On The Moon


Yes, Comrades

Some company or other from back home rattled my folks' cages, which in turn caused me mobile to go off, and off, and off, which in turn woke me up earlier than needed be. I heard voices. They were saying something along the lines of "Kill them. Kill them all" "You shoosh". It was Nancy's brother, X. The whole family, which is him and the parents, minus Nancy, were in.

After knocking a few years off with my toothbrush and shaving away the bankrupt pug look, I waltzed into the living room. X and I took a drive around most banks in Phoenix before finally a Travelex took my limey money and gave me dollars. Then, Last's what I imagine Boots looks like on Saturday mornings, filled with loads of frantic ladies, except instead of morning-after pills, they're going mad for cheap shoes (though $100 for D&G shoes sounds pretty standard to me). Next, Best Buy to torture myself with Region 1 crapola. They had a Law & Order boxset lasting over a hundred hours, I don't know when you're ever going to need that. Finally, ignoring all of my warnings, we took the car with the licence plate 'DATBOYX' to Zias, the big one.

First and foremost, they had a Ron Burgundy battle-ready action figure, he had a chair leg and everything. There was also a White Album cover jigsaw puzzle, a joke I didn't get until hours later. We left with series one of The Twilight Zone and a certain 99c comic.

Back at casa de Nancy, Ruby Sparks got stuck on. It were alright, whoever the main chick was in it looked like the great Emily if she'd fucked a strawberry (watch it, you'll (maybe) understand). After that fun stuff, we went and had us some bomb, which I'm told I smoked once last time. Totally believe that too - I was gone, on the moon, soaring through the cosmos whilst surrounded by marshmallow pies and looking glass eyes. On a side note, I'd love to try a marshmallow pie.

At home, despite having eaten a jumbo bag of Cheetos, a medium punch, most of a banana milkshake fit for the Gods themselves and some other stuff, we did the Mario. What? We had spaghetti, shut it! Then a cultural exchange: Blackadder for Human Giant. Pretty good.

"Here's a little agit for the never-believer"

In a bit.

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