Thursday, 26 December 2013

Catus Carnival


Yes, Comrades

First off, mad props to Mikhail Kalashnikov and Addison Cresswell for the work they do. I mean, what kind of world would we live in if it didn't have AK-47s and Michael McIntyre? Consider that. What's that, you say? Dead? Oh. Yeah, rest in peace lads.

So, after waking up and pulling myself together after these horrible losses, myself and Mrs Nancy took a drive to some shop for rugs. Cats. Cats everywhere. On cushions, rugs, pillows, bedsheets, the floor, just fucking cats. Some girl with a face like a spanked arse, a spanked monkey's arse, even, got on my tits with her face.

Next thing I know I'm doing the family shopping at Target and Fry's. I've got Target and the fabric store out of order, mah bad. I'm sure we got some funny looks, particularly when I was incredulous that once again, at Target, the Christmas aisle was chock-a with cat imagery. Country's fucking weird. The occasional pug too.

At home again, with the weird types of squash, e.g. spaghetti, that America has on my mind, I watched the first two episodes of The Twilight Zone. Not just saying this because I'm me, but watch it if you get the chance. Eventually Nancy herself was picked up from work and I was stuffed with burritos of all shapes and sizes and fried chicken. Christ, roll on Christmas dinner.

I then did my Terminator ritual. I crouch in the shower in the 'naked Terminator' pose. With eyes closed, I crouch for a minute and visualise either Arnie or the guy from the second movie. I then start to hum the Terminator 2 theme. Slowly, I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is the shower curtain sometimes sticks to my Terminator leg. It sort of ruins the fantasy.

So, anyway, Nancy and I sprinted from store to store because even as I write this she had Christmas shopping to do. At CVS to get photos printed, what do I see? Yep. Cats! Goddamn cats! A gift set and a gift card were bought.

At Sheba's, it was just us two and Debbie this time. Felt surreal. We learned about the Seneca Guns and how aliens use the sonic booms to power their spaceships. That's a direct quote as well. These people man, these fucking people...I mean people who believe this shit. Crazy Eights was finished at home. 4/10. Good visuals, good music, patchy story, not enough weasel-faced fucker.

In a bit.

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