Thursday, 26 December 2013



Yes, Comrades

Woke up. Good, I remember that much at least. After loitering around, we went to a place, Mrs Nancy and me, a place I have now forgotten because the day has been one long blur. Then it was just another day until 5pm, when Trouble herself got picked up. Oh, I had a bean tamale and made twenty kids Christmas bags also.

Almost as soon as we'd arrived, we were off like whirling dervishes to Wal mart (I'm told I'm a fud and it's two words) to get socks, gift sets, a pillow and Flipz. Me and McKayla Maroney just chillin' with that last item. Then home to start Christmas stuff. I tell you, the amount of love I saw this day, was just like watching Stuart Little, this stuff can't be genuine, can it? Ah, you're a rotter, Mr Grinch.

It is genuine, just for the record. Back out again to Zias, at Nancy's insistence. She's all worried her present is going to be about as punk rock as Avril Lavigne and The Goo Goo Dolls, so she insists on spoiling me with another. I'm not writing what I asked for because you cunts will laugh at me. We also got Beatles Monopoly (they can release that now since Michael Jackson retired as champion) for the Shebas.

Next to Safeway to get Tree some Christmas cheese and a banana cream pie, also for the Shebas. Sounds like a Kindergarten Cop drug operation, dunnit? Popped home again to wrap. It wasn't no trap. Once this was done, we went on the run. With presents in the back, luck we did not lack. We took a drive to Mama's, and were sure to not hit any llamas. Word.

There were about twenty people in there and of course I was the only gringo. I learned that word from playing Xbox, which proves that games do in fact teach us useful skills to get us through in life. It was like staring into a hurricane of love and feeling the uncontrollable Christmassy urge to jump into it. Maybe the calmest place would be in its eye, the eye of love?

Nah. We all had a cool half hour though - they liked their presents, the new people were good fun, it was all very quaint. Turns out there was an undercurrent of tension in the air. But hey, Tree's reaction to her cheese cut right through it - "I'm gonna call my Mom!" Mama Sheba loved her Suns blanket too.

In what felt like no time at all, we were home again, Hat. Cheesecake-making, gift wrapping banter. P.S. I also got a fucking nice guitar bracelet.

"Tender is the night, lying by your side"

In a bit.

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