Funnily enough, I spent the last night in Blighty doing exactly the same as the last time - watching Hugh Laurie decide if it's Lupus and having alcoholic beverages. The whole uproar about our hero (me) leaving was more of a downroar this time around, which was no skin off my tit. 6am comes and the father took me to the airport.
Check-in was nice and painless. Soon as the coast is clear, smokarette. After practically pulling fluff out every hole in my body just in case it was metallic, I'm sat in the departure lounge, surrounded by empty seats. A siren of a lady, for whatever reason, singled out the seat right next to me and planked herself next to me. Hmmm. Then I get my seat by the window, and who's sat next to me? Yep. I seriously thought Mummy had hired a spy or something, cause one I could've accepted, but both things happening? Hum. She said something to me in American, I laughed in confusion and fell asleep for four hours.
At Newark, I'm suspected of terrorism again, naturally. In the security room, some guy politely asks "Excuse me, I'm about to miss my flight and - " "Yeah, so's everyone else in this room, now siddown!!" Jesus, haven't even searched our cases yet and we're Osama Bin Smugglin'. After some belittling, I got back to the departure lounge (after teaming up with a black man who also thought he'd lost his case) and played my 3DS. In this game you can even rub their bellies! Imagine, in a few years we'll be able to...you know what, never mind.
On this flight I was sat next to an Asian woman who didn't look Asian - the workload she was taking care of was the giveaway. Ok, so that's two races insulted, onto a passage from my book I think Don and Bunny Bongo will appreciate:
"He pulled his legs up against his stomach, staring at the closed closet doors. He didn't want to. His stomach hurt. A shooting pain in his lower belly.
Had to pee."
So that's a thing. Arrived in Arizona, greeted by Mama Sheba and Irie Nancy. We got my case and hit the road to Sheba Manor. I was given an agenda and a blunt. It hit hard. But I didn't lose my feet or try to French myself this time! We got home and I can't get a word out, so tired. I collapse in my bed. Bliss.
"The town has always turned these lies and made them all burn"
In a bit.
In a bit.