Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Absolute Beginners


Yes, Comrades

Dawn of the Dead, so it was. All three of us in almost a catatonic state, shuffling down the corridors and through the casino. The queue was pretty long, beautiful long, fucking stunning long. We got served finally and were given the wrong room number at Mandalay Bay. Forget Nameless But Never Shameless - fuck you, Jordan.

Luxor still the best. The room was nice, but $20 for nicely wrapped M&Ms? Must think we spend more money than the vatican. Utter madness. We got the gear on and made haste for the artificial beach, after realising the bag I'd lost wasn't lost at all.

The sand genuinely burnt my feet, but we were having a good one. There was a wave pool, skimpy waitresses, a pool, a beach bar and a jacuzzi that put me in the shoes of Angelika. There was even a sign warning about jellyfish that can escape from the aquarium. With this in mind, we waddled back to the room.

I have to admit I had a nap at this point, for an hour. Pretty sure it was during Family Feud, would you believe? Never mind. I woke up feeling like death and got dried off from the sweat. Once we'd gathered our wits, we took the walkway to the Luxor and out into the street. The heat was pretty intense, even at 6pm, but it was just about bareable. Enter Hooters.

Either times have changed, or the ladies weren't showing a high enough percentage of flesh. They're famous for their wings, I'm told. Our waitress, Ashley, left her name on a handkerchief which made great restroom company for the remainder of the evening. I hated the spicy garlic wings, as did m'colls. Never mind.

All three of us were still exhausted from the previous night. I'd draw this out but that was the end - we went back to our room, watched "Have ya checked whether it's lupus?!" (House) and passed out.

"Too scared to break the spell, too smart to take a fall"

In a bit.

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