Sunday, 9 June 2013

AKA... What A Life!


Yes, Comrades

The time we were up on this fine afternoon was a bit out of hand. We had our day mapped out in our heads though. After a piss-taking four hours of getting dolled up and drinking melted ice, we got vertical and headed straight for the Bodies exhibition.

Sobriety can be a wonderful thing at times. These were real bodies, taken apart and diagrammed for our revulsion. The smokers lung actually did strike a nerve, in all seriousness. Who knows? No cameras were allowed which was a bit of a pain.

This made us really hungry, so we got us a nice 15" pepperoni pizza, with a side of salad drenched in ranch. From here on, we were killing time, digesting like things that digest like crazy. We strolled to Excalibur to visit Popcornopolis - I just got an ol' bag of kettlecorn, they got a caramel turtle apple which made me nearly slip into a diabetic coma when I tried it. Onwards.

To the bar! I got a flag pole - a 100oz cup that's so big and heavy, it needs to be tied around your neck. I swear at least ten folks had a comment or question for me about it. It was absolutely loaded with booze into the bargain.

Mama Sheba lost her ID but found it again through a mini miracle. After giving our room a quick clean, it was time to get all 'when in Rome' in this bitch and give the Luxor casino another go. Gets interesting here, droogs. After letting Sheba get chatted up by yet another black guy, who was 42, I decided to see what the deal was with the digital slots. I put $5 in, and my face was soon to freeze in complete astonishment and disbelief. I won. I'm not going to say how much, but let's just say the sum I won had four figures in it.

Knowing better than to get caught up, I finished my flag pole and we took the elevator. Will miss our favourite waitress...I took a bath, determined to use it. It was about now I realised I wasn't tired at all, I was ill. Throat, head, stomach and body in general all felt they had Frenchmen living in them. At about 2am, I succumbed to it and passed out, giving those two opportunities they took for 'funny' pictures. The alarm sounded at 4:15am and it was time to check out.

"I'm gonna take that tiger outside for a ride"

In a bit.

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