Sunday, 9 June 2013

Hundred Mile High City


Yes, Comrades

A 12pm rise sure ain't the worst thing that ever happened to me. We spent about three hours getting it all together and went to walk with the sharks at Mandalay Bay. They had the lot: a jellyfish tank; a manta ray petting zoo; divers swimming with sharks giving you thumbs up, you name it. Pretty special.

Smoking outside, a punk with liberty spikes and an Avenged Sevenfold shirt was all effin' 'n' jeffin' to his grandma, who promptly gave the little bastard a slap upside the head for moaning about his tooth.

I got me a massive box of Nerds for $25 at New York, New York, but the lions at MGM Grand were all gone. Still, while we were there, we made haste to Fatburger and had a gay old time. Think the nearest one to us is in London, but it's pretty much worth the trip.

Back to the room to watch The First 48 and Beyond Scared Straight. I'm specific this time because they're both worth a YouTube. Just hope the father doesn't get a hold of the latter one, I'd never hear the end of it. Anyway, once the Nerds business was seen to, 10:45 arrived and the last of the fun guys were swallowed. To the casino, quick, before they kick in.

Practically the minute we sat down - "Cocktails?!". The Budweisers and whisky did flow, the waitresses were genuinely drowning us in that stuff that cow Keira Knightley believes turns all men into complete scoundrels. As our aphrodisiacs began to take flight, I was forgetting about the gambling I was doing and just getting more and more and more fucked up. Mama Sheba headed to the room a tad early, as I had accumulated five unfinished drinks, now including Corona. This was all free too.

Off to Am Pm for a $5 20 pack of Marlboro and a few Coors. On the way back to the room I also bought a 20oz Jagerbomb with extra Jager. The next five hours were spent getting absolutely destroyed like everyone, and I mean everyone, else in Vegas. There was music, dancing, a hot tub that was neglected, slow dancing, very deep conversations and it all added up to one amazing night, until 8am.

"The more I feel is the more that I need it, the more I need is the less I believe it"

In a bit.

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