Saturday, 1 June 2013



Yes, Comrades

Another pill-induced early rise. This time though...We got a lift and stopped outside some K-Mart or other. Then comes the mid-smoke bombshell to end all mid-smoke bombshells: "I can't come to Vegas" This disrupted my plans quite heavily, I must admit. While murder and necrophilia weren't on my agenda per se, there were still plans based around a group of droogs, not just one. Fuck.

We got on the bus. That Kindle thing is dangerous in the wrong hands, as I demonstrated by playing Angry Gran Run like a senior executive manager (get it? Ha ha ha) then Four Pictures One Word gave me a carpool to the nearest local encampment and back (get it? Ha ha ha). The journey was over in no time.

We set foot in Camp Verde or Cliff Castle Casino & Hotel surrounded by a few buildings. Remember the strippers I mentioned? So many of them, strike one down and another springs up in her place. Like the skeletons in Jason and the Argonauts, only with less joy behind their eyes. Well, swap them for old people and you've got yourself some goddamn Camp Verde, goddamnit.

I won on a few slot machines, as did Nancy. Nothing we didn't burn away trying to win more of course. I also found a $6 winnings voucher and felt like a winner. We also played virtual blackjack with a man with half a face (seriously) and an Asian lady. You know "Herro!" and "So preased to meet yo!"? Well, I'm here to tell you that little racist stereotype is entirely accurate - that's exactly how she talked.

We ate at the buffet for free - $10 got you a bus ticket, $25 of free casino credit and the buffet. Even to my American companions, that's crazy value. On the bus ride home, we realised something...

Back to hers to eat spaghetti with the family, which was lovely. I step outside for a smoke, then I'm ushered into a 'family talk'. I explain I'll be taking the Greyhound to Vegas now, eliminating any driving risk. Mr. Nancy calls Nancy a 'green horn', but then agrees to the trip. Yes, friends, after sensing that the driving was the issue, we changed travel plans, Mr. Nancy was satisfied with this and we're going to Vegas after all!

We headed to Sheba's to confirm travel plans (leaving a day late now) and smoke ourselves silly in celebration. I got signed Dredg too, what an upgrade.

In a bit.

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