Wednesday, 15 January 2014



Yes, Comrades

If you think Elbow are a washed up dadrock band, clap your hands. If you think Elbow are a washed up dadrock band, clap your hands. If you think Elbow are a washed up dadrock band, and you really want to show it, go fuck yourself because their new song is pretty much the best thing ever.

So, I have been presented with another challenging day. As is now the norm, I went to Mama Sheba's manor for the Tuesday. Now, Nancy and I walked in at eleven so she could get herself into a better state for work. There was a show on in which makeup artists would design a creature based on what they'd been challenged to, e.g. "Design five hyper stylised fantasy characters that would fit in the same world", then they'd have to bring their design to life via some poor sod of a model. This was Scyfy's Face Off. We watched them create a gritty Mother Goose character, a subterranean terror, a mother Earth goddess, an update on a classic Halloween monster and a living piece of art, then took a walk.

As it turned out, we were only popping to the dollar store for snacks. Them Laffy Taffies are angel breath, except the banana flavour, that's a bag of pish. Grabbed some of this Arizona watermelon stuff that's gotten its grip on me and some chips, Sheba got something or other at the liquor store, I popped into the toilet store to get some clothes and we headed back.

Apart from this, I didn't move at all between eleven and half nine, except to eat two corn dogs, which are out of this world with mustard. Around this time, amidst all the cosmic circuses and seven deadly sins, Sheba and I found our favourite Face Her name was Laney, and bless her, she had no clue where she was at any point. "Cotton candy will melt under the hot lights? Oh. I never thought of that. Hamburgers." She became known as 'the stoner' to us. Aw, she was like a little lost lamb, we were just enamored with her. I could almost hear her saying it: "I had Sergeant Dread and afterwards he adopted me".

But she quit, the whore. Eventually Nancy arrived, fresh from work and raring to go. We sat for a short while, discussing sports and bigamy (haha, Big Amy, like Fat Amy from before). A bit earlier than usual, we headed home to eat submarine sandwiches and watch cartoons. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt it. The cold hand of death was upon me...I felt it. I was going to die a most horrible death, I felt it...I felt...manflu.

"She's on the dark side - neutralise every man in sight"

In a bit.

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