I was going to make up some amazing tale of how I was kicked out of the house and went on a quest to find the magical conch shell of Phoenix and got into all sorts of scrapes including redefining clip art, starting a joint e-venture with the cheese bloke from Blur, wrestling a venomous platypus, having a chat with Stevie Nicks then getting home to kick me slippers off and rock out to Keane's 'Hopes And Dreams'.
But I'm not going to do that. Nancy had the eleven til eight shift today, so I had a handbags at dawn style pissing match with Yabby Bassey (slammed!) and got dropped off at House #3, ready for a day similar to Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Instead, Sheba and I went along to Fry's with Adrina, Raul's (I think) little girl. I can't be macho here - kid's cute as a button.
We then went to revisit Al Pacino's dad, Ralph. I said he should shut his mouth, is he trying to catch flies? Debbie grassed me up. I was punished by being made to sit in his man cave (oh grow up!) and admire his DVDs and empty whisky bottles. No CDs to be seen either. Was pretty great. Neighbour Wayne 'shared the wealth' and we hit the road.
This was to be the end of my day tripping, next came the movie education I'd been promised so many times. First up was Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Now, I can name about fifty hundred better things to watch compared to Matthew Broderick butchering Twist And Shout, but I have to admit I had a decent time watching it.
Next, Tommy Boy. I know this came first, but seriously, all I can see is Joe Dirt being ratty while a somehow likeable fat guy walks into things. Also, Adrina and playmate Selena were serving me imaginary food and coffee from their plastic kitchenette all through this. The life of a rockstar, nes pas?
It was good though, all curious overuse of French in this journal aside. Then it was time for The Mask. I like The Mask, I like Jim Carrey, I like dogs and I like Cameron Diaz's lips and tits, so this couldn't fail, and it didn't! Throughout this whole marathon I was fighting feelings of peace (man), trying to write this bloody thing and find out who The Dismemberment Plan are - incidentally they sound reasonable. Let me know, Future Dread!
A good day, topped off with my first Twinkie, much more food including spaghetti and doughnut holes, and the first half of Requiem For A Dream. Can't wait for that to be over, it's scary.
"Dreaming my dreams I'm drifting within"
In a bit.