Wednesday, 29 January 2014

We Used To Wait


Yes, Comrades

So, as you may have ascertained after uncovering the pattern, Nancy had the day off again. But Tuesday is Tuesday, movie day is movie day, and that, as they say, is fucking well that. We had to wait until we had a car available though, so it was over to the Kindle to kill some time. Guess The 90s. I was at a cultural disadvantage, being from overseas, but we made a pretty decent team. Has anyone heard of Hit Clips, Dragon Flyz, Muzzy, Sky Dancers or Orbitz? I mean, anywhere.

What? Oh right, the cliffhanger. Ok, so where did I leave off? Kendal, on crack, was sat in the front room with Debbie, Christie and her husband when Nancy and I came in. He said he didn't know how to text, so that was done for him. Turned out someone had shot at his cousin and he needed out of there tout suite. When things had settled, we went back to our usual room, I couldn't neglect Bubble Game With No Real Name any longer. When we left for the night, two copper cabs were blocking the road out. Soon enough we got through, and there Kendal was, sat in the back.

Satisfied? So, we arrived at this very same house and before we've even set foot in the door, I drop an N bomb in jest, only to be heard by a B man. We rushed in and got To Wong Foo stuck on. Patrick Swayze in drag, God help us all. I saw his lookalike in a pub once, I should like it to be known. He looked a bit like Stewart Lee if he let himself go too. Yes, the movie. It was pretty good, let's not lie. John Leguizamo stole it for me though, ok?

We were proper peckish, me ode, so we went home. We ate sopa, salad and some beef, after we'd gone to get it from a barbecue hut. Is that a thing? I think that's a thing. We played some more Guess The 90s and I must say, my greatest contribution was when I fucked off for ten, came back to find them stuck and stylishly solved it instantly: VESPA. Stand aside, Bond.

At Sheba's, it was the whole gang playing the game this time. On TV was something that was simply bound to become a favourite of mine: Bad Girls All Star Battle. This was a whole programme dedicated to self-obsessed bitches screwing each other over for money. "That strap really hurt my vagina. #Ouch." That's a direct quote. I sat there, simply fuming at what the world has become, watching ten ladies vomiting all over each other. So nice to see people doing their performance while still maintaining their dignity. We completed Guess The 90s then the Kindle died. That's how it's done.

Serious fucking business.
"Now our lives are changing fast, hope that something pure can last"

In a bit.

No comments:

Post a Comment