Friday, 3 January 2014

Don't Look Back In Anger


Yes, Comrades

I'm sure we all started the New Year the same way: waking up at five in the morning inside a skip with our keys in our arses. Not our most flattering positions. Onwards!

My new year's resolution is pretty straightforward: 1024 x 768. Ha ha ha, I've only used that joke for about five fucking years. My resolutions are mostly straightforward - drink more, care less, stop wetting the bed and blaming it on the 'phantom pisser', keep tobacco workers in jobs, stop making people lose the game (sorry), stop falling prey to cougars and finally, shut down the movie industry before Robocop comes back and be home in time for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

So you got a sneaky preview of yesterday with the Life of Pi thing, you lucky bastards. Well, not a whole lot happened after that incident. Soon, the X family showed up, we wished each other all a happy new year and that was that. Just had to give Nancy an explanation on the phrase "I'm not a performing monkey". Just had to write that cause I know I'll have forgotten by tomorrow. More preview material.

Our grand adventure began at the smoke shop, which was closed. So, Circle K was the next stop. All of this for strawberry cigars to violate later, too. I'm getting bored of saying "Next, we went to Mama Sheba's" so next time I'll disguise that phrase, cunningly. I never cared much for Meet The Fockers before but I really did laugh - though I struggled to remember which parts happened in which movies, as far as structure goes they're pretty similar. No?

Nancy and I decided to go on a chocolate quest. We got everyone some Hershey's sundae pie from Burger King then another for me. As we got back, we were watching that one scene from White Men Can't Jump that sums women up perfectly. I too know how it feels to need to get water from Food City, I sympathise, I'm sorry.

Food City was closed though. Wal Mart netted water for home and pretzels and Funyuns, which are just super crunchy onion ring crisps. I'm told we went back and didn't go home til later but I guess that was uneventful.

Something made me laugh when I woke up this day. "You can't just cut a sentence in two and call it a meme" then a guy replies "Cuts sentence in two - calls it a meme". Anyway, we watched Everything Is Illuminated with that super-punchable Elijah Wood. I quite liked it.

"Take me to the place where you go, where nobody knows if it's night or day"

In a bit.

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