Thursday, 2 January 2014

Lose Yourself To Dance


Yes, Comrades

My head feels like someone's covering Caramelldansen in it and I imagine it will for the foreseeable future. You currently find me watching Life of Pi and apparently a good rule of thumb if you're stranded at sea is to keep your mind occupied by playing games "Like I Spy". Hmmm...something beginning with S. Ok, now what?

So I did me usual beginning of the day rituals, admire myself in the mirror, put too much butter on my toast, you know. When work was over for not me, we had some more of that Ching Chong Chinos. After this, we were on our way.

We arrived at Mama Sheba's where we all got into Tree's mum's car. She apologised for the state of her car unnecessarily, we had our Jack Daniel's (whisky selection here is shocking) and Malibu and made haste to Tree's mum's house.

The first thing I noticed was three chihuahuas circling me. They mostly gravitated towards Sue, the grandma of the house. Later, a big white retriever mongrel thing named Jimmy fell for me too, even followed me into the toilet at one point, which sure was an experience I won't forget any time soon.

A drunk Santa Claus almost hit me with an accidental flying headbutt, which was quite an introduction. As the jello shots were passed around, I met Tree's sister Tiffany and her boyfriend California fella. With caramel apple shots getting downed like water, more people arrived, such as an older couple I had an argument in French with after they kept getting me to repeat things they said in my accent.

It was crazy. The bathroom was full of wigs, the sinks weren't working, I had no idea what the shit I was eating and the evening culminated in a dance off between me and Tree to Lose Yourself To Dance. It was triffic, but the video has disappeared, which is both a shame and a travesty. Still, never mind eh?

We went home and drank some more. Pretty cool. So, a happy new year to all. And to all, a good night. A little thought for you before you go off into 2014...I managed to draw a pretty fucking good comparison between sex vs. masturbation and McDonalds vs. Burger King. "McDonalds is obviously better, that's a fact. But sometimes you just want those crinkle cut pickles"

"Here, take my shirt and just go ahead and wipe up all the sweat, sweat, sweat!"

In a bit.

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